You may like the Japanese phrase 一期一会 (ichi-go-ichi-e). To me it means that you should cherish each relationship and encounter, regardless of whether you know it will last a long time or not. You may never get the chance to experience that particular relationship again. I actually learnt this word firsthand from a man that it applies to, an middle-aged Japanese guy who was volunteering with kids near where I live. We got along well, laughed and ate, but he went back home and I will never see him again. But that doesn't diminish the worthiness of experiencing of getting to know him and enjoying time together, because all things have their place. I'm writing this as much for me as for you or anyone else here. Good night
My mom has a similar saying: "People enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." The idea is the same: you should cherish the relationships you have - while you have them - and let them go when they're over.
I really needed to read this right now. A few weeks ago, I received news that a friend from college had passed on. It hit me hard. I kept reading, and re-reading our last messages to one another, and kicked myself for not putting more energy into keeping up the correspondence, because now I'll never get another chance again.
While this was on a different level from other relationships that have faded away, it made me think about those ones as well, especially pertaining to work. A few companies ago, I was at a rocket ship of a startup and had some friendships that were as intimate and fun as any that I had since college. I sorely missed losing out on that camaraderie. I knew that professionally, it was the time to move on. But, it didn't make it any easier to leave the friends I had there behind. And it hurt to see folks that I thought I'd retain as close friends not end up that way after I left.
Luckily, after there (as with previous companies), I really lucked out and still managed to retain a couple friendships that I remain grateful for, now more than ever. I now realize this is just the way it is. I felt the same way at the end of college, and at the end of every job I've had. Sometimes, I need a reminder that it's okay for the friendships I've had to be in the past. It doesn't mean there was anything wrong with them. If they were going to hold place in the present rather than the past, then it would be that way. But that they are not does not mean they need to be critiqued, or analyzed, or critiqued. Perhaps, as you remind me, they just need to be thought of, reminisced of, and cherished and appreciated for what they were.
I do like that! I have been telling people that I'm content with relationships existing in chapters. Not everyone needs to be a follow on social media. Lets praise the utility and companionship of the time it was applicable. And maybe there is a cameo appearance in another chapter.
That’s an amazing saying. I, too, once had a middle aged Japanese colleague for just a few weeks - he was a smart engineer and hard worker, and kind to all. But he went back to the “mothership office” soon after - I was sad, but it was nice to work shoulder to shoulder with him. Something to cherish.
